Differentiation via Follow-up
Build relationships through gratitude
Building authentic relationships as an adult is hard. It just so happens that a big part of my job is to build and maintain relationships across a wide set of constituents — founders, prospective founders, LPs, GPs, startup execs, industry experts, recruiters, and more — and make a lasting, positive impression. One easy but effective act that has had a meaningful impact on my ability to build relationships quickly is the “thank you” follow-up email.
Sending a follow-up email has become a daily ritual that extends beyond meetings that end with action items to assign and work to do. A straightforward “Thanks for the time” note is a powerful brick for the foundation of a relationship, particularly a new one. It offers an additional touch point with the other person and increases the number of interactions. It demonstrates my level of organization, particularly if there are any action items / gives and gets from the call. It ensures alignment and helps avoid miscommunication. And, perhaps most importantly, it recognizes and shares my appreciation of their most precious resource, their time.
Studies show gratitude is a powerful force. It leads to increased appreciation and responsiveness towards partners, higher commitment, and a greater likelihood of remaining in the relationship over time. Receiving thanks also creates a ‘gratitude effect’, wherein the recipient feels a boosted sense of self-worth, which in turn makes them more likely to help others. And gratitude has also been demonstrated to combat self-criticism, depression, and anxiety.
Said differently, saying thanks:
Strengthens relationships
Makes the other person feel good
Makes you feel good
The problem is despite the obvious benefits, most people don’t follow up.
I’d bet if you looked at yesterday’s calendar, there is at least one meeting that merits a quick “thanks” email. Perhaps a Zoom with a potential hire, or a coffee chat with a prospective investor. The meeting ended without any action items or follow-ups needed, and while you appreciated the other person’s time and could send a note, the Asana list isn’t going to take care of itself, so you’ll take care of it during the magical time called “later” that rarely comes. And if it does, it’s been so long since the meeting took place that it feels awkward to send something out now. And it’s not really going to matter, right…?
I’ve been there. And to ensure I send more notes than I don’t, I’ve implemented a few techniques in my day-to-day.
First, I fight the urge to ‘take care of it later’ by making follow-ups a scheduled part of my day (for me if it’s not scheduled, it’s not real). I block thirty minutes, usually in the mornings, to look back at the day before and close the loop with anyone I met.
Second, I know that if I have to start an email from scratch, I’m less likely to send it. So I came up with a “Thank You Email” template to lower the activation energy. I think about the meeting, what I learned, and how I felt. I modify the template, and always aim to reference specific comments or insights (those that stand out the day after are usually the best and most valuable) to try and separate my note from the deluge of generic emails. And I’ll also try to add a personal touch. If the person made an offhand comment saying they are headed to watch Taylor Swift later in the week, you can be sure I’m going to wish they enjoy the concert!
By the end of an editing session, most of my emails look nothing like the template, but it certainly helps get me going (I included my template below for reference).
Finally, I make it a point to see if there is anyone I know that I can introduce the person to that might help address a professional challenge or pain point they referenced during the conversation. Whether I can or not is beside the point. The act of actively thinking about the other person creates authenticity and even more reasons to hit send.
Now, just as I’m not sure differentiating during virtual meetings definitively leads to more sales, I can’t say that differentiating via follow-ups definitively leads to stronger relationships. But, next time you have a meeting that warrants a simple thank you, I’d strongly urge you to take the time to send one. I’m all about manufactured serendipity, and you never know where a small gesture might lead!
Oh, and thank you for reading! 😃
Thanks to Sureel S. and Arpan P. for ongoing conversations on the topic of relationship building and for reading drafts.
My thank you email template:
[First Name]
Thanks so much for the time yesterday! It was great to hear more about your background, the work you guys are doing at [ ], and your thoughts [ ]. I particularly appreciated your comment on [ ].
I hope we have a chance to continue the discussion before too long! Thanks again, and have a great rest of the week.
Rishi
Are there any small things you do to help strengthen relationships with others? Any tips and tricks to share? Reply in the comments!
Remember what someone said.
Excellent advice!