Building Relationships Through Research
Differentiation via preparation
“Before anything else, preparation is the key to success” - Alexander Graham Bell
Building authentic relationships as an adult is hard. As a venture investor, it is my job to meet new people and maintain relationships across a broad set of constituents. Sometimes, I feel Venture Capitalist should be shortened to PPM instead of VC - Professional People Meeter.
The toughest days are when the meetings are packed in tighter than a can of sardines, and I find myself going from one meeting to the next, wondering, “Who am I meeting again? What is this meeting about?” I know the other person is not getting my best, and the meeting is not going to be as good a use of time as it could be.
In an effort to make a lasting, positive impression, I have implemented a small ritual to avoid meeting whiplash and help properly prepare for all my meetings.
Before any meeting, I try to do two things:
Understand the context of the meeting: How did this meeting come about? What is the reason I’m going to spend time with this person?
Identify the objective of the meeting: Understanding the context, what are my goals for the meeting? What do I want to take away? What is a potential next step I’d like to see?
Before a first meeting with someone, I add a third step to the process:
Background research: Who is it I am meeting?
This post will focus on Step 3, getting to know the person before you meet them.
Making a Strong First Impression
As the saying goes, “You only get one chance to make a first impression.” Going into a first meeting with someone, one goal of mine is to make that impression strong and lasting. To me, this means making an effort to understand where the other person is coming from and letting them know I value their time as much as I value mine. Doing prep work and later being able to reference something I discovered during research is a subtle but powerful way to begin developing a relationship, which helps with that first impression.
Before the first meeting, I try to spend a little time building out a mini-profile of the person. The objective is to develop an understanding of what makes them tick. What’s their background? What are their interests? Where might I be able to support their efforts? Are there any commonalities between the two of us?
Finding common threads with the person I’m meeting — hobbies, work experience, hometowns, mutual connections, phase of life (nothing like talking shop with another ‘parent of two young kids’ to establish common ground) — will immediately lend itself to quicker relationship development. The more connections that can be created, the stronger the connection. Data shows that humans are attracted to others that are similar.
“I am like you” —> “I am like you”
Note that, depending on the context of the meeting – a chat over coffee with a prospective founder, a candidate interview for a portfolio company, a pitch to an LP – there will be other prep to do. Regardless, walking into a conversation armed with identified common points and a general understanding of the person and their background also helps accelerate breaking the ice. I can effectively value everyone’s time by avoiding talking about the weather and similar generic topics and getting into the meat of the discussion faster.
Do the Research
Hopefully, you’re convinced about the “Why” of preparing for a first meeting. You might also be asking yourself, “How?” Let me share my process.
Level 1 - The Basics: LinkedIn, Common Connections, Google, and Company Website
The first thing I do is look up the individual on LinkedIn. For all of its shortcomings, LinkedIn is still one of the best ways to get a high-level overview of someone’s professional journey. I also take a look at mutual connections and see if anyone I’m especially close to is connected to them as well (depending on how much time I have, I’ll try and reach out to one or two people via text to get a read on the individual). I’ll do a quick Google search and also be sure to check out the person’s company website to get a sense of the company they are at and the industry they are in.
Level 2 - Digging in: Social Media
After going through the basics, I do a quick search for the person across social media profiles (I put LinkedIn posts in this bucket). The goal here is to see what, if anything, they have been talking about online. On X (née Twitter), I’ll also check the “Replies” section to see what conversations they have been engaged in. This helps me build out a more three-dimensional profile and potentially identify other, more personal aspects, like hobbies or side projects.
Level 3 - Going Deep: Podcasts, Writing, YouTube et. al
In a lot of cases, I meet with people who actively publish writing online, have shown up as guests on podcasts, or have been recorded giving a talk of some kind. When I decide to go deep, I search YouTube and Spotify for the individual, listening to anything that seems relevant or interesting. I’ll also scroll through a blog or newsletter, trying to find various pieces that resonate. This is especially effective before a first-time meeting; there is no better way to build a robust mental picture of someone than by reading their words and hearing their voice.
It’s the Thought that Counts
Now, you might be thinking, that’s a whole ton of time to be spending on every meeting! How do you get anything else done?
I calibrate how long I spend in my pre-work based on the relative importance of the meeting, how much time I have, and how online the person is.
For a lot of meetings, I will spend five minutes and get through Level 1 and a bit of Level 2. For other, particularly high-value meetings, I can spend a solid 30 minutes getting through Level 3, listening to podcasts, or reading their written work more deeply.
Less ideal situations do arise, though. If the person I’m meeting is not super active online, it makes for a quick study. Sometimes, meetings stack up, the kids are sick, or I get pulled into something else, and I don’t have time and end up walking into a meeting ‘blind’. That’s OK, that’s life. I just try not to let that be the outcome too often anymore!
It should go without saying, but is worth noting anyway, that the intention behind doing background research is not to be creepy or invade anyone’s privacy. I definitely don't suggest opening a first meeting by bombarding someone with facts you learned about them. As with anything good, moderation is key. The value is in “getting to know” someone whom you haven’t met previously through what they have put out into the public domain, developing an understanding of how you might be able to support one another, and making the most of the time you have.
Don’t aim to be interesting. Be interested. An authentic and genuine desire to get to know someone is the best way to develop a connection.
So, take the time to prepare. Actively listen and be engaged during the meeting. And be sure to follow up afterward. It’s obvious, but you’d be surprised at how often these basic steps are overlooked when trying to build lasting and meaningful professional relationships.
Thanks to Arpan P. and Birendra S. for ongoing conversations on the topic of relationship building and for reading drafts.
How do you prepare before a meeting? Any tips and tricks to share? Reply in the comments!
Great read, Rishi!